Reverse Roles
by DurMeleth
Summary: Basically what happen just after the end of the 5x12 episode. A Milkovich conversation.


**A/N : Hi everyone! Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted something here. ^^ And my first time on Shameless! I discovered the show some weeks ago and I watched the five seasons in two weeks… (oops?). I fell in love with it and particularly with the relationships between Ian and Lip, and of course Ian and Mickey (I mean… Who wouldn't?). So after I watched the 5x12, I was kind of : "And… What now?". So I watched a lot of fanvids, interviews… And tonight, I had this idea popping in my head! So here it is! Enjoy!**

Disclaimer: As always, I don't owe anything, sadly… Only these few sentences… ;)

* * *

When I got home, after succeeding on dumping this crazy bitch of Sammy by the L, I went straight to my room, letting myself fall backwards on the bed. I didn't even check if someone else were home. I needed to be alone. No, fuck that. I needed to be with him. Ian. What the fuck just happened? I don't even realize what he said. I asked him if he was breaking up with me and he said fucking "yeah". How can someone fucking answer with a "yeah" to a question like that? I wished that Sammy hadn't arrived at the same time. There was so much I wanted him to explain to me. But after all… What for? For him to tell me that he's sick of me? That his crazy bitch mother told him that I wasn't worth him? I rolled around on my bed and hiding my face in my pillow, I screamed. A lot. I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed, I shouted, I yelled, I punched my pillow, I punched my mattress. Everything reminded me of him. His smell was still everywhere. The smell that gave me hope during the days when he was gone, at the hospital or with his mother, now, it only made me nostalgic and hopeless. Realizing that, I got up and took off all the sheets of the bed. As I walked through my doorstep, I got the sheets tangled around my ankles and I tripped over them, crashing with a loud noise on the floor in the living room. The door in front of me opened and Mandy, seeing me lying on the ground stepped off of her room.

"What are you doing?" she asked me

"Laundry, what do you think?"

"What? But you never do laundry. You hate laundry, you've never managed to get the washing machine to function." She noted, arching an eyebrow.

"Well, I want to do it now. Could you fucking help me stand up?"

She untangled my ankles and gave me a hand. She knelt with me and reassembled the sheets together and we started to walk to the washing machine.

"So what happened?" she asked.

"What? Nothing."

"Don't play dumb with me, Mickey. I know you. I know when you're good and when you're not. And I heard you scream. I've never seen you like this before, even when Ian…"

I tensed at the mention of his name. She noticed immediately.

"It's him, isn't it?"

I nodded.

"What has he done, this time?"

"He…" I stopped, incapable of saying it. I chuckled. "He dumped me."

"What? Where is he? He didn't say where he's gonna meet you for your date?"

"No, Mandy. He _dumped_ me. Like he… He fucking broke up with me."

And with that, I was done. I slipped on the floor, my back against the wall. I rested my head in my hands, my elbows on my knees. I didn't cry. I couldn't. I was to numb. I had the impression that saying it to someone else made it official. And fuck, I didn't want it to be official. I wanted it to be only a phase. I wanted him to come to me, two days later, saying he was sorry and running to me, again. But this time, I couldn't believe it. After a few minutes, I felt a hand in my hair. It was nice, but it wasn't his touch. It was softer, almost tentative.

"Mickey… What happened?" Mandy asked, softly.

So I told her. I told her all that happened since Ian came back from this fucking psych ward. How I didn't know how to react to him, at first and then, how I came to care for him, making sure he was taking his meds and how I got rejected. How we fought about it and how we got reunited. And then, how everything went wrong, _again_. How he took off to go with his mom, and how I tried and tried again to reach him. And then, when I succeeded, how he blamed me for taking care of him, for loving him…

"It's funny…" started Mandy. I glared at her.

"Yeah, really funny. I'm laughing so hard right now."

"No. I mean, it's funny how at the beginning, he was the one always trying to get to you and now, you're the one running after him."

"Yeah, and I fucking hate it. Couldn't we have had at least a fucking month without problems?"

"I know. Look, Mickey. I can't promise you anything. Ian is really off, right now, you know that. But he loves you. He always had. And I know you love him. Let him cool off. It's not easy for him. I'm sure he's feeling guilty and surely like a burden for everyone. He knows that everyone expects him to do something stupid every two hours. And it must be tiring for him. He must be sick of it. I don't know how I would react. If I knew that a lot of people loved me but had trouble to accept my disease, I'd be a little pissed too." I started to protest but she raised a hand. "Don't tell me you don't have trouble to accept it. I know it's not true. The time you took to come back to him after he was discharged alone proves it. But I understand. And maybe someday, he'll do too. I'm not saying he'll be coming back to you. I don't know that. But I think that if you push him now, he'll resent you for it and you might lose him for a long while, maybe forever."

"At least, he's at the Gallagher's, now. He's safe. I'd rather know he's there than in the middle of fucking nowhere."

"Yeah. And you can still have some news of him by Kev or Lip."

I sighed as I got up from the floor. I got to my room and as I grabbed my phone to check the time, I saw my background picture, featuring a smiling Ian. I remembered this day, when everything was quiet. We had gone to abandoned buildings to do some exercise and we had ended up fooling around. Like always. I stared at the screen.

"Fucking Gallagher's", I said at it, smiling bitterly.

* * *

A/N : Let me know what you thought!


End file.
